First Experience With Bullying?

I can remember the kids who used to bully me around like it was yesterday. Of course, after we all grew up(the bullies all seemed to stop growing around 8th grade, ha!) and I became a police officer the tables turned for good.
Anyway, today, like most days, Emma kept asking when we were going to leave for school–did this for 2 hours. When we finally went, she was very excited. As usual she washed her hands and kissed me goodbye and then ran over to the board where all the kids write their names. Emma was there with one of the boys and she began excitedly writing her name when 3 other girls, Hannah, Mia and Marissa came over. Mia and Marissa waited behind Emma and I observed Hannah go over to Emma and grab the marker she was using. Emma pulled back and they both started tugging as Emma said,” I promise I will give it to you when I am done, I promise!” Hannah then yanked it out of her hands and Emma put her hands to her face and bowed her head.
As this was going on, both Mia and Marissa verbally intervened a bit by saying that it was Emma’s turn and Hannah could go next. They also asked Emma if she wanted to play with them in an attempt to make her feel better and stop crying. How cute they were! Emma told me several times that she wanted to go home when the saving grace came along–Avery! When I told Emma that Avery was there she immediately turned around and smiled at Avery and all was better!!

Well, this whole scene happened in a matter of seconds and It obviously stirred up some past feelings that I can remember. I walked over and tried to console Emma and told her that it was OK–all the while looking at Hannah who was looking at me. I then told all the kids that they need to wait their turn. I also told Hannah that she needs to wait her turn and that Emma was there first. I told Emma that she needs to tell her teacher if any kids act badly but I have told her this before since comments about Hannah misbehaving have been heard. Emma is not the type to tattle which I can totally relate to as I wasn’t either. I felt like saying more but I know it isn’t really my place to scare another kid—yet! lol

The teacher was not aware of this incident as she was at the doorway talking to several other Moms. I left because it was time to start class and didn’t want to embarrass Emma by taking the teacher aside, etc…..

I then went to the health club and while I was there some thoughts came into my mind. Both Melissa and I have told Emma to tell the teacher when something like this happens. I have also told her that it is not OK to push or pick on other kids unless they pick on her first. I think that she is similiar to how I was in that I was more passive and allowed myself to get pushed around–until I got older. I remember when Carl Farmer–wonder what happened to him– pushed me too far in 6th grade gym class and I lashed out…He was shocked and the other kids were like “Go Kenny!” His bullying of me stopped then and there. I hope Emma doesn’t get pushed around until she is in 6th grade. But, if it takes her taking a stand like I did then so be it…

I know that Emma is no angel and that she can be a bit bossy but I have never seen her do what Hannah did today. Maybe she has and I don’t know it? I do know that on several occasions I have seen Hannah push Emma as the kids were playing outside and I got there early and watched them. Nothing serious but pushes nonetheless. Maybe they just don’t like each other? Who knows. I do know that next year they won’t be in school together and there is a good chance that Avery will be in Emma’s school!

Funny but I always thought that I would have to deal with this stuff with boys. I guess bullying is equal opportunity!

After school, Emma was in a great mood. After telling me about her day I asked what happened this morning with Hannah. She said that Hannah didn’t want to share and took the marker from her. I asked if anyone ever misbehaves and her answer was Hannah. She stated that sometimes Hannah pushes her first and then she pushes Hannah back. I advised her to tell the teacher but if she needs to defend herself then she can push back. She also said that none of the other kids pushes her.
Ahhhh the experiences of growing up( for Emma) and of parenting(for me). And, someday a grownup Emma will be able to read this and laugh!

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